I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
