: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
