these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My bed smells like the plague
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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