i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
