oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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