ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Randomize
