big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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