i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
