ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
