Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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