Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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