..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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