no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
