She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
