She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
