Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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