somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
