when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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