i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
