So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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