I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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