That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
