Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
