What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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