3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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