Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
