This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
