I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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