I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
