The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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