Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
