I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
