Who did Billy Mays play for?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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