Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
