take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize