I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
