Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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