we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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