Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
