i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Fuck appropriateness.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
