you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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