i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
