How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
