her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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