You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
