My hair reeks of homosexuality.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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