His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
