Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
