3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
