What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
