I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
