I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
