So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
