There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
