im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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