dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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