it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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